“In time of chaos, our minds lose control and fall apart. When the chaos is at peace, we can finally move on to grow stronger.”
I opened my eyes and looked over at the clock on the table. Three in the morning… just great. I turned around and starred up in the ceiling, hearing my heartbeats in the silence that surrounded me. No one were awake yet, most likely since it’s so early in the morning. The clocks ticking sounded as a echo, filling the room. Tick, tack. Tick tack.
I blink for a moment and suddenly, I notice a feeling I haven’t felt in ages. Peace. The great feeling when you can feel a great burden being lifted from your shoulders, making everything feel possible. I never have felt so alive before, so… free.
After a few more moments, I decided to get up. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, a cold breeze touching my legs as I stood up. Outside it were still dark, the stars still shining so bright and I could see the moon slowly descending down in the distance.
I walked over to the desk and dragged out the chair. As I opened and turned on the laptop, I started to wondering. What was I going to do? Why did I even turn this on, three in the morning?… It hits me seconds later why I did it. Deep in my maze of thoughts I had one thing that I really needed. A job. SO why not try to find one now?
I opened up a new page and began my search. “Available job, singing.” Hundreds of sites came up as I pressed enter, but either it was just singing or other jobs. Nothing including singing as a job. I went through page after page; still the same result. Maybe I would find something if I took other words. “Singing as a job.” Here goes nothing.
I pressed enter once again, but this time a site came up that caught my attention. I clicked the link, praying that it would be worth it.
“Love To Sing? Want a job, but not a full time? Then this is perfect for you! Send in your application to Singograms@Simnets.com and become a Sing-O-Gram performer today! Remember; the more you sing, the more you earn!”
The more I looked, the more it seemed like a perfect opportunity. I looked around a little more before I downloaded the application and filled in everything that needed to be. I attached the application to a mail, entered the address and clicked send. At that moment I sent it, my stomach got the familiar feeling from yesterday. I got up with the speed of light and rushed to the closest bathroom I could find.
Disgusting, just freaking disgusting. I probably have caught something before I came here, but now that I think about it… I have been throwing up for a few months, but I really can’t remember when it began. Another waves hits me, forcing up was left in my stomach after yesterday. When it’s over I hear a knock on the door.
– Belle, is that you in there? Are you okay? Do you need anything?
– Really it’s fine. You can go back to sleep Liza, I don’t need anything.
– Okay. If you say so. But maybe you should go to the hospital, you know. Just to make sure that nothings wrong and if you want, I can take you there before I start work.
Should I go to the hospital? Do I want to know what’s wrong with me? Maybe there’s nothing wrong, just a stomach bug or something. But maybe…
– Can we wait a few hours before going to the hospital then? You know, it’s still early and the sun haven’t even started to rise.
– Sure Belle! Be ready to go around nine and Belle… try to get some sleep.
– I’ll try to, but I can’t promise anything.
– Night Belle.
– Night.
I hear Liza walk away and talk a little, probably with Chris and after a while the house have gone back to be silent. If a pin was dropped it would be heard. It’s just so, quiet. I have to get outside. I walk quietly down the stairs and open the backdoor, slow so I don’t wake anyone. I slip outside and walk around on the backside of the house, feeling a breeze as I hear an owl somewhere in the distance. It’s so beautiful here.
Before I know it, my legs starts to hurt. A pinch of some sort, probably because I haven’t eaten for a long time. I walk a little more until I reach a bench. Oh lovely, to sit down for a while.
I never believed that my life would come to this point, never thought that I wouldn’t be together with Sam. I did love him. No, I do love him still. After all, he… he never looked different at me, because of my past. He were always there for me, took care of me and helped close the door to my old life, only to open a new one. A new life…
Thank you Sam.
9.30 AM – At the hospital
– Thanks for having time to see her Helena. Or should I call you Doctor Collins, since your my boss now?
What Liza told me before we got here, she and Helena were classmates through high school, but have been friends far longer. Then they went separate ways to different college to study, but somehow they ended up at the same hospital. Amazing I must say.
– Please Liza, no need for such thing. We’re friends, so you can call me Helena and even though we’re friends, I will not take it easy on you as your boss.
– Sure, whatever you say.
After their little small talk, Helena turned towards me, blasting of a smile with such a warmth that I began to relax a little more.
– Sorry for ignoring you a little there, Liza and I haven’t seen each other for such a long time and I just… forgot. I’m very sorry!
– It’s fine, really. I’m just glad you could take the time to see me. Nice office by the way.
– I’m glad for that and thanks Belle. Well, this is really not my office, just using it now since mine is being renovated. But should we get to the point of your visit?
– Of course. I think I might have a stomach bug or something. Not sure and can’t really remember when it began.
– I see. Liza told me that you been throwing up, once yesterday and earlier in the morning, am I correct?
– Yes.
– Have you lost weight since you remember the first time you threw up?
– I… I think so. My clothes have gotten a little bigger, but I don’t really see what it have to wit-
*knock knock*
– Doctor Collins, may I come in?
– Yes, come in! Sorry Belle, this will only take a second.
I looked over to the door and saw a man walk in, caring a toddler.
– Did I come at a bad time again?
– No, not really, just asking some question before we take some test. What is it… sorry, I forgot your name.
– Don’t worry, happens all the time. I’m new at the hospital, began working here a few weeks back. I’m Hawk, but should be called Doctor… Ericson. Yeah.
– Ericson… I see, oh well. What can I help you with?
– Well one of the nurses asked me to bring this little kid to you. Something about giving him his medicine. I were on my way to the archives, but… yeah, this came in the way.
– I’m sorry for all the trouble, but thanks. That’s very kind of you, since the archives lies on the other side of the building. Give him here and I make sure he get his medicine.
As Helena takes the little boy from Ericson, I get a strange feeling in my stomach. Something seems… of about him.
– Here you go. By the way Doctor Collins, I have forgotten the access code to the archives. My memory is not the best. Can you give me the code?
– I thought you knew our system! Guess they just forgot to tell you. We change the access code after two weeks, for the security. You’ll have to go asking someone else, since they haven’t sent me the new code yet.
– I see… Yeah, they probably forgot to tell me. Well then, bye.
After Ericson left the room I could feel how room getting more at ease. It really were something strange about him. Really strange… but somehow, he seemed familiar. Had I seen him before? I can’t remember. Probably not, I should remember if I had seen someone like him.
– Well Belle, sorry about that. Should we get back to the subject?
– Oh? Yeah, sure.
I looked at the boy and as weird as it sounds, it felt… like just looking at him made me know what’s wrong with me.
– What’s his name Helena?
– Oh? This little troublemaker? We call him Fox. Always escaping from the nurses and putting himself in trouble! But I think actually that we’re done talking. If you excuse me, I need to give this boy his medicine.
Helena turned away from me to Liza.
– Liza, would you show Belle to the examination room? The key is on the table here, so you two can go ahead. I come there later, so be patience with me. See you later.
Helena got up and walked out of the room caring Fox with her. It took me several seconds before I turned to Liza and I could see at her face what she wanted to say.
– Belle did you see his face? If I weren’t together with Chris, I probably would have made a excuse just to follow him. Totally hot!
– Liza!
– I’m just kidding! But he was hot, that I don’t deny. But he seemed a little… stressed or something. Just saying. Did you notice it to?
– Yeah, I did Liza. He’s not any ordinary doctor, or guy for that matter.
– Don’t you think it’s weird that he needed to go to the archives? Especially since he said himself that he only been here for a few weeks. It took me several months before even I needed to go there.
– Well, I don’t like him. But anyway, should we get going? Otherwise Doctor Collins get’s to the examination room before us.
– Yeah you right Belle. You think that you can get there without throwing up?
– I believe so. But I actually don’t think it’s necessary to take test now, but… better to be on the save side.
– What are you talking about Belle? You think you might know what’s wrong with you?
– Yeah.
– What do you think then?
– Liza, I think… I think I’m pregnant.
Belle… pregnant? No, that can’t be. It’s impossible! She’s only been with… me… But then if that’s true… then I’m the father…
I dream of rain, I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes; this rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love.
Do I remember? Yes. My sweet desert rose…
Finally!! A new chapter!!! God, I’m so freaking slow!! Took me some time to post a new one… Sorry if it’s really bad, but my inspiration… 
and motivation… Then the fact that I’m Swedish and my English, but holy macaroni, stop it!! I really should stop making excuses like that!
Anyhow, I probably won’t post a new chapter for a while, but I’ll try to post something for you guy, even thought I need to focus on SIFF this year. I have planned to enter it this year, getting back into making videos. If you never heard of it before, you should check out their website: http://www.simatography.webs.com/
Okay, a cookie if you can figurer out which song I have taken some of the lyrics from 
Hugs and lot of love to you all!!
Chosomok0
The Lockwood Chronicle 